I like being here at home. even though it hurts to be here. i wish you could be here with me. i wish we got our own time alone. i wish this vacation could be extended i just wish that it could be with you. i know you have your laughs there and you dont wanna go back, i just dont know where i wanna be. it hurts to type this and it hurts to even think while at home. i wish i had you here with me so you could see that i infact do wanna talk to you and i do wanna be with you and i dont want stress and shit. this is why i kinda wanted to go back so we could talk on the drive up and you could get how i feel. you can feel what i feel but you dont get why cause you dont get how my mind works, how it is. i love you though and i want you to know all this. its what sucks about being on vaca, its with out you when i need you the most. ill tty again later, and hopefully we’ll both be in better moods
on two occasions. the first i was in this sort of futuristic world and he took the elevator with my family i took this ultra quick escalator and when i got to the bottom i reached a deli where he showed up and asked me where mom was then idr what happened and i think i woke up. i went back to sleep and had another dream where it was a sort of gears of war-esq world and i got to the surface and started dancing salsa with jess and all i could hear was him saying thats my son! thats my son! then i cant rmr what happened but i woke and all ive been feeling are tears coming and i dont wanna cry, im pushing them back as hard i can. i miss him so much. i miss my dad.
ps. babe dont feel insulted that i didnt tell you. i couldnt, i didnt wanna cry. typing this now is makign me on the verge of crying in class X_X.